RCIA

[Becca]

I've been in the RCIA program for about 4 weeks now and I know I'm headed in the right direction, but I miss my former church. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going back especially since I feel I've found the true Church, but I was very involved there for quite a long time. I also still feel guilty that my son is no longer attending and refuses to attend the Catholic Church. My husband did go to Mass with me Saturday evening and that was an awesome experience! I guess I'm just attempting to get this all off my chest.

[Joseph the Worker]

Hey there! I remember your intro story. Glad to see you are still around. I'm also happy to hear you have found an RCIA group and are attending. My suggestions are as follows:

1) Continue attending RCIA and tell your son that RCIA doesn't commit you to anything, it just shows that you want to learn more about the Catholic Faith.

2) Depending on your relationship with him and how he reacts to things, tell him he should attend, and ask him what he is so afraid of, that if you have an honest heart God will lead you where he wants you. Maybe he's just leading you to RCIA so you can see how right the CoC is...

3) Be very patient and praying. Read about St. Monica. She prayed for her son for decades before he came around to the Catholic Church (St. Augustine).

[mllevaleur]

Congrats on joining RCIA, and know that your feelings are very normal. After all, a church home really becomes extended family in a way, and finding a new "family" can be really difficult. It's really strange going from being actively involved to what feels like a "pew warmer," and being the new kid, etc. I'm not very outgoing and have a hard time putting myself out there and meeting people, so for a long while my husband and I remained pretty anonymous at the parishes we attended. That was a lot different than how I grew up, where everyone knew my family and knew my name. But after many years I'm finally starting to put down roots and getting to know my fellow Catholics, and it's great.

I second Joseph's advice, do keep praying for your son. And please, I know that the CoC ingrained in all of us that other people's actions were our responsibility, but please please keep reminding yourself that your son is an adult, and his actions and choices are his own, not yours. There is absolutely no reason for YOU to be feeling guilty about his choice not to attend church. If he really feels bad enough, he'll go. If he doesn't go, it's really not as bad as he probably makes it seem. Whatever happens remember it is not. your. fault. I know that is much easier said than done, but it's a process. Keep reminding yourself if those tapes start up in your head, and with practice you will learn healthy and firm boundaries about what is and isn't your fault!

And feel free to vent anytime you need, that's what we're here for!

[SirFlea]

Hi!

[Becca]

Thanks for your replies. I guess I'm just having a little "Pitty Party" I just feel a bit lost.

[prairie]

(((Becca)))

[sarita]

Hang in there. It is hard to try to fit in with a new group of people, but one of the great things about the Catholic Church is that there's room for everyone.